The Gift of Being in the Moment

Be in the moment. In theater, we use this phrase as a mantra to ensure we are present and actively listening to our scene partners. When this happens, magic moments are captured and the interactions are genuine and seem natural rather than rehearsed. This same philosophy can be applied to positive guidance in the classroom.

When I consult with centers regarding behavior management concerns, there is a common thread with the initial observation. In these classrooms, teachers do not understand the importance of being in the moment. You can be best intentioned, take all of the required early childhood courses, and be certified as a teacher. It means nothing if there is no continuous connection with the children. Young children watch our every move and hear every word we say. They are brand new to this world and their brains are absorbing everything around them, even when they seem oblivious and being their adorable egocentric selves.

The most common observation is a teacher sitting at a table while children are playing in learning centers. Usually, he/she/they do position themselves for a somewhat global view of the classroom. More often than not, the teacher is sitting at the table preparing a lesson or art project. If there are two teachers, they may be sitting together, or one is cleaning, setting up cots, etc., while the other preps the lesson. The conversation between teachers and students is limited to redirection when a conflict is observed, or calling students over a few at a time to complete the table project. When redirecting, “No thank you” is my personal pet peeve. Do we really think including the word “no” when interacting with a toddler or preschooler is a good idea, especially when we fail to say why? Isn’t their favorite word “no”? Sure, let’s reinforce negativity in our redirection. A child may randomly come over to ask a question, start a conversation, or show the teacher something they’ve made. In many cases, the teacher barely responds, ignores the child, or gives the standard, “Good job!” (again, without explaining the “why” of what was good) and sends the child back to play. Sorry, folks, dare I say it? This is not teaching, it is babysitting. As early childhood professionals, it’s the one accusation we dread hearing.

The above description of a classroom observation is very common. Please don’t take this as teacher bashing. Most teachers in this scenario have a kind heart and skills that have yet to be utilized. It could be that they never received an orientation, especially in a time when we are in a field hiring crisis. Perhaps the people who trained them weren’t taught by someone who truly understood positive guidance. Often, we don’t know what we don’t know. Teaching is a calling and a passion.

Imagine a classroom where one or both teachers are sitting at eye level in the learning centers with the children. They are stationed where line of site covers the classroom. They are engaged with the children and are actively participating in the moment by:

· Asking open-ended questions about the activity. Are the children in home living pretending to cook a meal? What a great time to have a conversation about healthy foods, the difference between fruits and vegetables, favorite foods. In the block center? Ask about the building process, instead of just trying to guess. Avoid questions that can be answered by a simple yes or no.

· Enhancing the moment: Perhaps the conversation in home living leads to planting seeds in a garden box in the classroom. What books could be read? What could you plant? In the block center, springboard off the conversation about the structure. If it’s a rocket, enhance the experience by reading about space.

· Engaging the children by creating next steps together. Let them know their ideas are important. Validate feelings. Make a connection. Model the words and actions if redirection is needed.

· Transitioning using timed intervals with cues such as music, bells, or using a“first-then” approach that explains what’s coming up and what we get to do if we first clean up. Remember to be cognizant of anxiety triggers when transitioning. If using sounds cues, make them soothing.

Being in the moment also means looking through the lens of a child. One of the most underutilized yet important tools in the early childhood classroom is the sensory table. It’s understood that there were restrictions in place during COVID, but as we ease into new normal, use the sensory table every day! I might actually put that on a t-shirt. Not only are fine motor skills strengthened, but the development of language while children and teachers actively engage in this activity is gold! Stumped on what to put in a sensory table? Paper to tear, babies and cars to wash, (so what if the children get wet? Use smocks) shells, leaves, snow, sand, dinosaurs. Some teachers put pasta, rice, and other edible items but it’s also important to be cognizant of food insecurity.

Another missed opportunity of being in the moment with children, and indicator of classroom behavior, is the infrequency of going outside. Classrooms that do not go outside on a regular basis have increased negative behavior. It’s either too much trouble to bundle them up in the cold, it’s perceived to be too hot, going outside is seen as a chore instead of another gift of interaction. Children need fresh air and time to get out energy. I recently observed a teacher outside with her preschool class and the experience was a joy to behold. She was right in there playing with them, having open-ended conversations, role modeling turn-taking and patience, and genuinely having fun with them in the moment. I could tell that this was not just a performance for my benefit because the children were actively engaged and not surprised by her participation. When the children came back inside, they were appropriately tired out and ready for a nap.

When children are engaged, feel heard and validated, and given individualized attention, the need to act out for attention rapidly diminishes. Remember, negative attention is attention. It might be easier to sit at the table and prep a lesson and pass off non-interaction as allowing children to freely explore their environment. Think of the positive energy, yet calm atmosphere that happens when we really get to know the children in the classroom. It’s about making a connection.

Teaching is joyful and joy-filled, but it’s also a lot of work and not without challenges. When we learn ways to engage with children, we show mutual respect, compassion, and make our (and their) days easier and rewarding. And learning takes place! Thank you for taking the time to be in the moment.

Rock on!

Sonia